Krispy Kreme Doughnut Dash Recap

WE DID IT! One dozen Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, 2,400 calories, 5K run, and a 1 hour time limit. 

Will finished in 36 minutes and I finished in 51 minutes.

I can't believe I did it! I was really worried about downing a dozen. Some law review friends once bet me (and my friend, Katie) that we each couldn't eat two Chipotle burritos in one sitting. They were right. Thus, my last failure at competitive eating did not leave me with much confidence.

Best/worst feeling ever? I haven't eaten since and you can list me as "doubtful" for dinner. 

To the Recap:

We researched strategies on our drive up from S. Fla. last night. We decided: 

• No food/liquids (besides a little bit of water beforehand)
• Double-knot shoes (you will not be able to bend over to tie them after eating the doughnuts)
• Run first half as fast as possible
• Stack doughnuts 4 at a time and flatten (see below) to trick the mind you are only eating three
• Use water to dense and wash down
• Don't throw up

It was pretty cold at the race, in the forties, and unfortunately, the doughnuts were not hot, so they didn't have that melt in your mouth quality that would have helped get them down.

Will and I ran the first half of the race together so we could motivate each other eating. I think the first mile and a half took us about twelve minutes. He finished his doughnuts well before me, also in about twelve minutes. So off he went sprinting while I struggled to get mine down.

I finished about half of them fairly quickly when I started doubting whether I could do it. After ten I thought there was no way. But I stood there, jumped up and down, and finished all twelve. I didn't know if I could physically swallow the last six bites. I don't know how I did it. I think I was channeling Kobayashi. I am a quarter Japanese.

The run was okay at first. While I did feel twelve months pregnant, my legs were fresh. After about a mile of running twelve months pregnant with doughnut babies I thought the doughnuts might come back up so I had to walk. I felt what other Krispy Kreme runners had felt in the past... like doughnut glaze was coming out my pores. I was breathing in and out sugar glaze. Not in a good way.

When I made it to the finish, Will was there to greet me! I smiled, but really only for show because I immediately ran behind a tree to gag. You needed to know.

We waited around to get our medals. We were pretty disappointed by how disorganized it was. Also, they were giving away gift cards to TACO BELL, LITTLE CAESARS, and SONIC, in addition to MORE KRISPY KREME DOUGHNUTS. Not well thought out as far as we were concerned. Oh well, we got out of there with our medals and now we can say we did it!

And we'll never ever ever do it again!

The end.

Is there time for a photomontage? There's always time for a photomontage.