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Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Week in Review

Ah, where did we leave off? Oh, yes. I rendered myself unconscious there for a second. Update: Despite a slow start, my fingernail is sporting a very dark bruise and looking way more legit. 

After almost breaking my finger off (never one to exaggerate here), I painfully finished a work project (physical pain via finger, not really emotional or psychological pain, mind you), and headed off to Maryland for a quick two-day trip home. My sister was in town for a couple weeks with my niece, also Will's cousin-twin, and my mom decided last-minute to book me a flight home so we could all be together. 

The children were utterly overjoyed to see one another.

Like I said.


A highlight of the trip was that my little brother signed his letter of intent to play Division I lacrosse. He still lives in the very large shadow of his super humble, talented sisters, but he is slowly inching his way out into the limelight.

I made him sign another contract, one of adhesion of course because I was bigger than him at the time, many years ago agreeing that I would be his agent for life, receiving 10% of any sports-related income. 

So work hard, Uncle Belly! I mean, Uncle Billy.

My stepmom scheduled professional Christmas-themed portraits for the babies. You know. The ones at the mall! These bad boys will never go out of style. I don't care what anyone says. Being who I am, however, I couldn't help but capture some quick photos of the babies outside first. I have an iPhone and I'm not afraid to use it.

But we did capture this gem of an elderly couple's church directory photo. You may have missed it, as it broke the Internet last week.

I got me an 8x10 of this bad boy. If we had a fireplace, it would be at the center of the mantle.

Well, I guess that was only 2 days in review . . . . To round out the week, we've been chugging along just fine over here. Baby Will contracted some crud, I'm guessing from the airplane, and he's been the clingiest clinger that ever clung, but that's life. Oh, and we had his 9 month checkup. He gained no weight, but grew nearly two inches. And we finally found a prescription to help his mystery rash (but still have to go to the dermatologist for a diagnosis). Those are all the mom updates I can think of at this time. Now pass the coffee.

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Thursday, November 13, 2014

Point Break

No, not this Point Break . . .

But rather, that one time I thought I broke my pointer finger. Ultimate teaser, though. I apologize.

Back to the story:

The following events occurred this past Saturday.

It all began in what we all believed would be a very fine evening. We finally got into St. Louis to use our Schlafly Brewery Air Force Ball door prize. We went to the Taphouse downtown. The atmosphere was great, the food was delish, and the little guy even managed to behave himself for a small, but significant portion of our visit.

The real drama occurred on the our drive home, which I can only describe of the most bizarre turn of events that occurred in quite some time in this oddly documented life of ours.

I thought it like any other ride in the car. Will was screaming his head off. (The baby, not the husband.) Just informing us of his continued disliking for the car seat.

I was doing like any other mom who'd given up trying to entertain a baby fed up with his car seat. I did my best to ignore his cries and took to biting my fingernails as a coping mechanism. But like any clean freak mother, I wasn't just going to toss fingernails in the back seat of the car, so I did the old crack-the-window-just-a-bit to let her fly. You know. You just crack the window the teeeeniest bit, and the wind sucks the nail right on out of the car.

Well, I misjudged. And I rolled the window back up onto the tip of my finger.

I swore I felt my finger snap in half at the tip, and when I rolled the window back down, got my finger dislodged and saw the blood, I proceeded to FAINT. That's right. I went UNCONSCIOUS in the back seat of the car while baby Will screamed at the top of his lungs and husband Will, screamed over top of the screaming baby Will, cried out my name in an effort to determine whether I was, you know, conscious and okay and would live.

When I came to, I responded that no, I don't think I will survive this, but do go ahead and keep driving.

And then I almost vomited. The end.

Will admitted that he was only thinking of himself during the entire ordeal. You see, he had a similar point break episode whilst choosing to buy this particular ladder:

during a particular episode of his particular wife's pregnant nesting.

We were at Lowe's buying painting supplies and he accidentally sliced his finger open folding the ladder shut. His face turned white and he said he felt lightheaded. I IMMEDIATELY told him to sit down for a second to collect himself, but he tried to play it cool and walk it off . . .

THAT particular story ended up with his hugely 7-months pregnant wife, with the athleticism of an NFL offensive lineman, pinning him up against additional Lowe's merchandise in order to catch his fall. Those two years I spent playing tackle football finally came in handy in this game called life.

And then he almost vomited. The end.

The worst part is that I literally thought the damage to my finger had been CATASTROPHIC. Instead, all I have to show for my intense pain and suffering is what looks like your average unmanicured housewife's hangnail:

Oh well, at least it wasn't for a booger.

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Thursday, November 6, 2014

9 Months

Will turned 9 months old yesterday. He's officially been on the outside longer than he was on the inside. He is basically an adult now.

Can I just tell you that taking photos of a 9-month-old is extremely difficult. He was so preoccupied with putting the camera in his mouth. I think I took almost 200 photos, and most of them looked like this:

"Just ONE bite of the camera, Mom. PLEEEASE."

Oh, I wish that were an exaggeration. 

But it ain't.

Obviously I took all these pictures yesterday. Two blogs, one stone.

Let's do this.


// He gets VERY excited when he's hungry and hears the word "milkies." There have been a couple times he actually crawled into my lap and started hitting me in the chest. Message received, kid. 

// He is way less distracted when he nurses. I was really worried we'd have to switch to bottles-only because he is such a busy-body. It was just a phase, albeit a 5-month-long "phase." We haven't had the need to give him formula in weeks.

// I'm proud to say, he eats like his parents. This morning he nursed, had an adult-sized portion of oatmeal, and half a banana. No kidding, he ate more than I did. He usually eats three solid meals a day along with clean snacks of cereal or something like peas. He eats whatever we eat for the most part. 

// Still just the two bottom teeth. I wouldn't say his top four teeth are about to "pop," it's more like they are slowly, painfully, oozing out of his skull, but they are close to emerging.


// One wakeup per night to nurse, usually. He had a few days in a row last week where it was two and I about went crazzzyyyy. When you get used to less wakeups, it makes it so much harder to adjust to more frequent ones. Boohoo, I know. 

// He is down to two naps per day. Occasionally three. Nap times are inconsistent. Anywhere from 30 minutes to 2+ hours. 


// Man. He is pooping solids all throughout the day. It kind of stinks. Heh. He poops himself awake in the mornings about 40% of the time. 

// We are back to cloth diapering! We use a fitted underneath an all-in-one at night. It's way better than disposables (we've tried every brand) at night. So far we only have one, so it's only used every third night, but I'm about to buy one or two more because it's so great.

// Diaper changes are a full-contact sport. I have to ask him to hold something for me . . . . usually my phone or whatever's around. Then it's a struggle to pin him down and keep him from squirming away.

// That said, when I have to use the bathroom, it's also a struggle as one of his current life goals is to climb into the toilet. 



// Stands unassisted for 30+ seconds. The more distracted he is by holding something (see above), the longer he will stand there.

// Claps! But only when he feels like it. 

// His language skills consist of "bababas and lalalas." 

// He will repeat high-pitched screaming. "AH!" is his favorite. So advanced.

// Prodigiously bangs on his xylophone, which immediately makes the dogs howl. And then he kind of gets scared.

// If you ask for a kiss, he will sometimes open his mouth very wide and lunge toward your face for a wet one. 

// He happily occupies himself for the most part. As long as he's barricaded into a baby-proofed room, he requires very little parental involvement. Yes, I will fist bump to that.

// The rat tail is looking more like a curly mullet. YES.

You know where all the other rat tail updates are. 

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Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Bullpin Apparel GIVEAWAY

This baby's got the no-look fashion blogger pose in the bag, am I right? Takes after his father.

So, my sister-in-law, Rachel, very recently opened an Etsy shop called Bullpin Apparel of hand silk-screen printed children's apparel. Well, it is quickly becoming a children's and adult's apparels shop because parents deserve cool clothes, too, and I happen to be demanding. Anyway, she and Will's brother, Chris, design each print with love and care, hand make the screen prints (in what I can only describe as tedious and scientific-sounding and complicated), and Rachel prints each shirt by hand herself. 

If you have ever rolled your eyes at a baby onesie that read "Super Hunk Machine" or "Princess Diva" or something similar, this Etsy shop is for you. As soon as she released her new "Small Things with Great Love" print, I immediately had to have it in every size to gift to every person ever. Not that the "Bull in a China Shop" print isn't perfectly applicable in light of baby Will's crawling career. Thus, when we were visiting her in North Carolina, I awkwardly asked her if she would let me to do a blog giveaway. 

Lucky for us, she agreed!

I am so excited about these designs. Everything is printed on American Apparel clothing (made in the U-S-of-A!!!), which is so soft and great quality. I was really worried about how this shirt would wash because baby Will is the messiest of eaters. I thought all sorts of horrible things like the red sleeves would turn the white part of the shirt pink and the screen print would melt off in the dryer or something tragic, but of course it came out of the wash (and dryer) looking brand new. If your mom senses are high and you would be worried about that sort of thing . . . 

Would you like one? 

Will is so excited about the giveaway, he was graciously about to give up the shirt off his back.

I explained we do the Rafflecopter thing here. 

One lucky reader will get ANY Bullpin Apparel item of his or her choosing fo' FREE.

Best of luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Saturday, November 1, 2014

Halloween '14

The guilt trip of not bringing baby Will to a pumpkin patch had been building. Combine it with the fact that I'd put zero effort into a costume, my conscience was really nagging me. 

My sister crafted a very elaborate MarioKart family costume situation that I could just never compete with. Yes, siblings exist just so we can compete with them. It's called sibling rivalry and the struggle is real.

At least we managed to take some good pictures, I guess.

I need this blog post to step up my mom cred and win me some points in the rat race of sibling rivalry.

Nevermind the single tear streaming down baby Will's face while he pondered the fact that he'd never have photos of him as a baby perched upon a haystack, surrounded by gourds.

Or it was just really cold and windy. We're gonna go with that. Until he's old enough to adequately communicate his disappointment over our parenting failure that was Halloween 2014.

My dad and I spotted this monkey suit at Once Upon a Baby a couple months ago while I was in Maryland. It was just weird enough that I had to have it, and for the $8 price tag, my dad obliged. Of course, by the time Halloween rolled around, it was a little on the snug side. But seriously, I could tell Will loved wearing it. 

Which pleases me very much.

So that's it. 

We ran outside to the middle of our culdesac, snapped a few dozen photos as quickly as possible, and literally ran back inside. It was really cold.

No trick or treating this year, either. Maybe next year when he's old enough to walk around, but hopefully not able realize we're just gonna steal all his hard-earned candy for ourselves.

I promise we'll step this thing up for Christmas. 

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