Days Like Today

Sometimes life hands you a tub full of turds.

Today was one of those days.

Literally.

And, alas, we Snapchat it to all our (9, I think I have about 9) friends, thus that we may laugh to keep from crying!

Or something.

I'm tired.

This was just after he climbed into the tub filling with water still donning his diaper. I digress.

… 

I discovered yesterday that Little Will has an ear infection on top of all the cold/cough crud. He'd been rubbing his left ear for a few days and then yesterday I really noticed the drainage. (This is his second ear infection since getting ear tubes in July. He hasn't even had his follow-up appointment yet, people!) 

Anyway, so that's some more joyful news. 

This morning, I spent hours on the phone with NetGear and Charter trying to get our Internet/Wifi situation sorted out. I was feeling pretty high and mighty after canceling cable - (WHO NEEDS CABLE ANYWAY? NOT ME SUCKAS) - and of course the Internet goes out and all Hell breaks loose. 

We have the scars to prove it: 

I mean WHATEVER IT TAKES. I can't have you being mesmerized by the blinky router lights and tapping at the laptop keyboard when I am on the phone with the nice Indian lady with customer service.

I still didn't get it working until about 20 minutes ago. I only used approx. 5 out of our 10 gigs of Verizon data in the meantime. (We FaceTime a LOT.)

The big highlight of our day was that Will had cupcakes delivered to our front door! Six of them! Two Oreos, one red velvet, a cookie dough, a pumpkin cheesecake, and a funfetti to be exact. I won't tell you which ones we had for dinner.

So all in all, it will be just fine! I just might keep bathing Will in a different tub until I get the gusto to do some bathroom disinfecting. 

Survivalists

You know what's my favorite? Spending an hour and a half of PRECIOUS PRECIOUS NAP TIME attempting/failing to fix a Wifi router. The fact that Will has been napping for over an hour is already a big win, so we'll just hunker down here next to the modem and see what we can tap out for you today as I ignore the periodic whimper from the baby monitor.

The big news 'round here is that Little Will has been fighting a cold. He was pretty pathetic over the weekend. We were in all out survival mode. 

Pulling into the church parking lot on Sunday. The agony of a ruined nap!

He was pretty out of it Saturday and Sunday, but ever since, it's really only been affecting his sleep. 5am wake ups and really short naps, same bedtime. Other than that, at least since Monday, he is basically his normal energetic self, just with extra phlegm. Don't ask him to wipe his nose with a tissue either. It's mom's legs, mom's belly, or mom's face only, please and thank you.

The lack of sleep has been pretty overwhelming for me. I was out like a light at 8pm last night, I'm proud to say. And meals over the weekend resembled:

Freakin' gourmet.

But I did manage to get some snuggles and smiles from the toddler-in-residence despite serving him non-meals.

Look at that squish face.

What's MOST interesting is that [husband] Will was also in survival mode over the weekend. Our lives are practically the same right now! (TDY countdown - we are HALFWAY through!)

Manly hiking.

Manly camp site food. 

He and two new SOS buddies went on a weekend camping trip at a campsite in Alabama. He was really excited because these guys were real outdoorsman types, SERES trained Air Force pilots. MILITARY GRADE. MUSCLES. MANLY MEN!

SERE stands for: 

SURVIVAL!

EVASION! 

RESISTANCE!

ESCAPE! 

I think Will went into it (or at least I did) thinking that they would kill their own food, wrestle mountain lions, etc. Come to find out they were most expertly Air Force trained in the escape part of the course. After a little rain made it difficult to start a fire Saturday morning, I get this snap:

They escaped right on over the their local Cracker Barrel. 

I don't know what Bear Grylls' reaction would be, but I'd say these guys are pretty well trained on the ins and outs of "survival mode." Well done, boys. Well done. 

One way or another, we're all just surviving!

Adjusting

I applied to three jobs in the year between moving to Illinois, having little Will, and starting at my new firm. I wasn't exactly banging down doors for work. A cushy little work-from-home gig fell into my lap when Will was a couple months old and it was going well enough. But then I randomly applied to a job opening and later found out that the founding partner of the firm graduated from my alma mater (whoops - had no idea when I applied!). I totally chalked it up to God's will and the rest is history. 

But now I'm retired. Again. Does this make me the Michael Jordan of the legal/blogging world? No?And my family has had to make a whole new set of adjustments to my transition back home. A kid no longer at daycare all day. Will he like me? Will I be able to keep him entertained? Will we both go stir crazy? There are significant changes to the budget, significant changes to what we're eating. At some point we will actually begin to prepare for this second child whose due date is approaching with ever-increasing speed. I actually have to clean my own house again. I get to blog. That sorta stuff. 

It's been over a week with me full-time at home again. Here are some tidbits about how our days are going.

After 19 months of not caring about television, aside from occasionally exclaiming "BALL!" when baseball, football, or golf is on, this child has finally started to see the benefits of sitting still for a few minutes to indulge in Dinotrux or Curious George. Some mornings, I will fire up the Kindle for a few minutes so I can get ready without having to repeatedly prevent Will from trying to climb into the toilet. 

I got a sliiiick new treadmill setup, at least for the time being while we only need the garage for one car.  

Oh except that there's this. ^^^ He lasted for but five minutes before trying to climb aboard. Not to mention the TERRIBLE FRIGHTENING HORRIBLE spider problem in the garage right now.

We get our smoothie fix every day, i.e., Will IGNORES HIS OWN DAMN SMOOTHIE (see background) to mooch all of mine. 

We visit the same playground at least once per day. Every day.

Then it's everyone's favorite time of the day: pantsless independent playtime! He builds "choo-choos" with his matchbox cars. 

These cars were actually my little brother's from 1998. Matchbox cars are virtually indestructible, I tell you.

We run countless errands, e.g., commissary, post office, commissary, OB, commissary, Target, OB, commissary. Then probably back to the commissary. Yeah, we be mixin' it up. 

You can't even tell me I let him watch too much television because LOOK IT'S THE POPE.

And this is why I can't look at my phone while he's in the highchair. All hell breaks loose with the yogurt. 

So we both get bathed.

And I put him to bed at 6:30 and it will be his bedtime for as long as I can get away with it. 

That's what we're up to. Lots of variety as you can see! And yet I know deep down that I will look back on these slow days with utter fondness and nostalgia. Our sweet, slow days alone are numbered. (Approximately 12 weeks and 2 days, according to my iPhone app.) Better get 'em while I can.

Motherhood Lately

I thought it's been too long since I've blogged about poop, so let's check in and have another motherhood discussion.

As you know, we were recently in North Carolina visiting with friends and family. Traveling with a baby is a fast road to burnout. Most of you already know this, but indulge me for a second if I may elaborate.

First, little Will came down with a cold and down with it went any expectations for sleep. When it cleared up, we had just one day of reprieve, when then, he started cutting his four top teeth and has had explosive diarrhea for over a week. (If you were lucky enough to be on the receiving end of a photo of a blowout. . .  you are very welcome! Also, it's finally subsiding, so worry not.) And I think Will wins the prize for slowest teether ever, but that could just be my momness coming through, thinking my kid is extra special and all.

The point is: Blowouts. Sleep problems. Crankiness. So. Much. Friggin. Poop.

It was a constant battle for self-control over extreme anger ("ANOTHER diaper change?!!"), extreme pity ("My poor baby!"), extreme paranoia ("Is he DYING?!"), and extreme sleep-deprivation (likely contributing to the paranoia, but here we also have to blame the old, interminable Internet).

For our return trip, Will braved the skies with sick little Will on a nonstop Raleigh to St. Louis flight, and I was tasked with safely navigating the Subaru home. (Yeah, we bought a Subaru. Give her two additional points on the crunchy scale. Boo ya.)

I was perhaps a little too excited for this drive. Twelve uninterrupted hours of sitting still, yet in a very concrete way being extremely productive? A mom's dream come true. But let's also just say I had a lot of time to both come to know current events via satellite talk radio and also process my thoughts on them. 

Boy, there's a lot of noise out there these days. 

War. Panic. Outrage. Competition.

And I have the type of personality where I'm easily swept up in it. Supreme Court, Church Synod, Political Campaigns . . . Picture my little brain as a hamster on a wheel relentlessly chasing a dangling carrot just out of reach. With sweaty armpits and everything. That represents my brain sometimes. And, actually, my armpits.

It comes back to staying grounded. Oh my gosh, how I can lose sight of the important things when I'm not careful. Getting back into a prayer routine is a given. But I've also been reading St. Therese ever since I got back home. (Maurice and Therese: The Story of  Love, to be precise. Thanks, Lauren!) 

Being so burnt out and caught up in all the craziness of the world we live in, finally picking up this book could not have come at a better time. St. Therese has brilliant insight about just forgetting yourself, embracing your smallness---not letting yourself be discouraged by it, a special weakness of mine---and acting in love above all else. Which is a little ironic because she was a brilliant prodigy, and obviously not a small figure in religious literature by any means, but I digress.

I needed this lesson so badly, to stop (literally and figuratively) sweating everything. 

I've never been so happy to just be settled into our little old routine again, enjoying the mundaneness, finding joy and humor in the poop trials, and despite myself, trying and do the small things with great love. Because changing poopy diaper after poopy diaper can be a spiritual exercise, you guys. Lest we forget.

The Day That Crazy Built

Blog friends. 

What would I do without them?

Sink into the Illinois cornfields of despair, most likely.

I knew Kallah (who recently took her blog private---ask for access!!) from college, but we weren't close friends. We were both poli sci majors at Belmont Abbey, so we had several classes together and would have intense philosophical conversations during our many study group sessions, but we never really hung out outside of the academic setting. After I learned that she was married on the exact same day as me and Will, we started Facebook messaging occasionally, and then our friendship took off when I started blogging. 

Kallah knew Sarah from some mutual friends, but was also a blog reader. I quickly followed suit and started reading Sarah's blog, but Kallah "introduced" us via a group text that has never stopped since. We could really text each other all day, every day, until the end of time. Thank goodness for the limitless of iMessage.

We'd seen each other through so many trials on that simple iMessage thread. Kallah's adjustment from one to two children with a husband away a lot working full time and earning his MBA at night, Sarah's pregnancy through her husband's deployment, and obviously my own difficulties as a new mom, including but not limited to, Will's leaving for 9-weeks when baby Will was just 2 weeks old. 

During one such iMessage-fest, I mentioned to Kallah that I wanted to go to Charlotte for Belmont Abbey's Homecoming the first week of October. She immediately and generously offered for us to stay at her house. It got a little awkward and sad when we realized it was a week away from Sarah's due date, so she wouldn't be able to meet up with us in Charlotte.

Cue side-iMessage thread between me and Kallah planning a day-trip to Charleston to surprise her. We, perhaps naively, figured she'd either be holed up with a newborn or holed up super pregnant, so obviously our unexpected arrival with three little men in tow would be welcomed with open arms!

In pursuance of our plan, I decided to fly out with baby Will the Tuesday before Homecoming to accommodate our surprise day trip.  . . . Which happened to be the same day Sarah gave birth. We boarded our first flight with news that Sarah's water was broken and she was in labor, and we landed with news that baby Nolan was here.

Will's excitement was palpable.

We had planned all along to visit her on Wednesday, the next day, the day after she'd given birth. After getting approval from Sarah's husband, we loaded up Kallah's car with our snotty kids (no literally, they all had faucet noses) and embarked on the 3.5 hour drive from Charlotte to Charleston.

Best idea ever, I mean . . . 

I mean really. How cozy.

We figured that even if we only saw her for a few minutes in the hospital it would be worth it to make her feel loved. And we really wanted to make the gesture after all we'd been through together! We seriously went into the whole day without a thought of how much work it would be entertaining the kids in the car, keeping them fed and well-napped, and honestly it wouldn't have made a difference. We were overly optimistic and determined. Some would say we were crazy, but I prefer optimistic and determined. So I'm going with that. 

Have I ever mentioned how little Will HATES THE CAR? Well, so yes, he screamed a lot. And Kallah's two boys had the honor of staring at his face for the entire scream-fest. Poor kids. 

We broke up the trip with a perfectly timed Chickfila trip. The itsy bitsy spider mp3 was purchased. The trip was made bearable and we still had eager attitudes to make the day a success!

We arrived in Charleston and stopped first at Sarah's apartment and dropped off food and gifts while we waited to hear whether we should go to the hospital, or bide our time until after they got home. (N.B. Sarah had a rockstar labor and recovery and left the hospital a day early.) We were told to go to the hospital. 

That meant back in the car. Little Will faces his nemesis again.

We made it to the hospital, where unfortunately for us there is a policy that non-sibling children can't go into the postpartum wing, so we had to go in one at a time. One visits the happy new mom, one stays in the waiting area with the three boys. 

Kallah entered the room first and there was a distinct "um, what are you doing here?" look on Sarah's face. She said hi, and then I came in. SURPRISE! I'm pretty sure she connected the dots as soon as she saw Kallah, but I digress. 

It was the stuff of blog-dreams come true. 

Sarah invited us to her apartment after they were checked out of the hospital, so we could all hang out together. It felt a little on the crazy side to show up at her house the day after she had a baby, but she seemed to sincerely want to visit with all of us, and, like I said, optimistic and determined, we forged ahead.

We killed some time at a nearby park to let the boys run off some energy before heading to Sarah's.

Not before stopping at Publix . . . 

To load our boys up with sugar before our visit to ensure perfect behavior, of course.

And also so I could snap too many photos of the Will-Henry bromance.

Just as it got dark, flirting with the boys' bedtimes, we finally got to Sarah's and all got to visit with each other. The three of us, and our boys, were finally all together in the same room! 

And again:

Note the glimpses of Baby Will's regrown rattail. The dawn of a new millennium.

I bring you to the finale of this photo series, whereby I ask you to please refrain from looking at the hot mess to the left and focus on the Pankus perfection that is on the right. 

"Literally. I can't even."

It was such an awesome day. And totally worth all the screaming (in my opinion - but I think little Will agrees) to finally meet the happy Pankus family with their new, perfect little addition. 

The end! . . . 

Oh what? We still have to drive back? 

Fine, I'll tell you about it.

The return trip actually went a lot better . . . with one hiccup, of course. Little Will slept almost the whole way back because it was dark outside, but we were about to run out of gas about 30 miles from Kallah's house. We knew it was gonna get ugly once we were under the bright gas station lights. 

And oh, it got ugly.

All three boys, screaming at the top of their lungs, overtired from a long day-trip. Itsy bitsy spider to the rescue. For the remainder of our trip. (I was afraid to stop playing it because the boys loved it so much!) 

I remember just turning and making eye contact with Kallah . . . and we just started laughing uncontrollably. Finding joy in the suffering! Or something. 

In all seriousness, thank God for friends who encourage and embrace each other through the crazy. What would we do without them?

Mom's Night Out

As I briefly mentioned last week, I made the 14 hour drive from St. Louis to Maryland with our two dogs and a car-seat-hating 7-month-old. Why would I put myself through that again? Well, to witness the certain nuptials of a dear, dear high school friend, that's why. And I will make whatever sacrifices are necessary for some free wine and crabcakes. 

The trip over was . . . okay. My mom flew out to St. Louis just so she could drive back to Maryland with me. (Will is TDY in Alabama, naturally.) We left Saturday around noon, so that my mom could have some time to visit with Will, and then we stopped in Charleston, WV for the night. My dad is actually driving back with us today (and flying back home to Maryland on Thursday).

To the meat of this post. 

My mom generously offered to babysit little Will on the night of the wedding, so that I could be baby-free at the wedding festivities. I was super anxious about how baby Will would handle being away from me all night, being that he hated the babysitter and separation anxiety would rear its ugly head whenever I desperately needed some time away from him for work and/or sanity. But bringing little Will alone to a church just terrified me. His new favorite activity, especially in church, is ripping my glasses off my face and beating me with them while screeching at the top of his lungs (which he demonstrated for all at Sunday's mass). 

He doesn't get it from me.

Spoiler: He didn't cry once the whole time he was at my mom's . . . he only (surprise surprise!) got a little cranky in the car when my mom drove to meet me at mass the next morning. And obviously was back to being a rager for the actual mass. 

Anywho, I was really excited to get all gussied up and have a big night out with mah girlfraynds. 

Parents of the bride in the background!! AKA Crazy Carl and Momma K.

{Dress deets. I used my fashionable friend's gold membership to get a killer deal, btw.} Everyone who commented on this picture on Instagram, A+ bang up job. Your checks are in the mail. 

The three of us were pretty shocked when we met up with each other and realized we were all wearing black to a wedding. And even more shocked when we got to the wedding and realized that we were the only ones wearing black. I mean, it is unofficially Fall! 

We were NOT shocked, however, when upon hearing our destination was a Catholic Church, our cabbie hesitantly asked whether we were headed to "a wedding . . . " with his voice trailing off because he rightfully feared we were headed to a funeral instead. As I struggled to walk in my heels (hey - it had been a while), I just kept thinking of the final scene from Death Becomes Her where Meryl and Goldie are tripping over their decomposing selves to Bruce Willis's funeral.

And since my personal photographer, Will Brez, was not at the wedding,
this lousy pic of the back of my dress is all I got.

The reception was at a really cool barn out in the country. The food was out of this world and I totally looked pregnant by the end of the dinner of steak and crabcakes. (I am convinced that the little black dress will be a fab maternity option when the time comes. Just thinking ahead and rationalizing the expensive purchase!)

Because I am the largest turd (FIGURATIVELY speaking here), I decided it was cool to hold up the women's bathroom line at an open bar/wine bottles on the table reception, so that I could pump.

Yes, I took a picture of it to send to Will because I'm a crazy broad and that's how I do. I came out of the stall to see about ten women anxiously waiting to use the bathroom. Oops. 

There was plenty of dancing, plenty of pumping, and perhaps a bit too much wine for this lightweight. The night was capped off with a midnight bedtime where I closed my eyes and did not open them again until 7AM. Seven straight hours of sleep had me feeling like a NEW WOMAN when I woke up, despite having to tiptoe around so as to not wake my temporary roomies.

It was a good night. 

6 Months

I'm back to amaze you with all the important baby things. Not just any baby things, but Baby Billy Brez things. Like how Will's back cracks a lot when I pick him up now. It never happened before! I'm not a doctor, but this has something to do with his growth and bones and such, I'm sure. Now at your next dinner party, you can offer information that baby's backs start to crack around five months old! You will be the life of the party. 

Will actually has had a lot of milestones this past month, which---fret not---I am going to discuss at length. Let's get rolling.

6 Month Well-Visit Stats:

• 19 lbs, 10 oz. (83rd percentile)
• 26.5 inches long (57th percentile)

Other Appointment Highlights: Blowing raspberries at the pedi, farting during important discussions about night-weaning, and not flinching during his first vaccination shot (though he briefly cried after the second shot). 

You see why he gets away with such behavior.

Eats: 

He is pretty much on a 3-hour schedule to a T during the day. His first feeding is at 6:30 or 7 in the morning and we just go from there for the next 12 hours. As such, I moved the BabyConnect app from my home screen and have not touched it since. It was a big day. He's also consistently nursing on both sides nowadays, which is both a blessing and a curse. It's so easy not to have to flip him, but it's also nice not being Lopsided Lolly all the time. 

We started solids and so far, Will is a phenomenal eater, as seen on the gram. Carrots, apples, bananas, and pears were a huge hit. He was pretty lukewarm about peas, which upsets me deeply. As evidence, consider this blog post from over a year ago where I discuss my strange love of peas. That said, I don't understand why I don't have a broader audience. The content on this blog is top notch. He's also had cantaloupe, watermelon, and bites of other random stuff here and there when we are out to eat (ice cream, French onion soup, black beans, etc.). I've been using our Beaba Babycooker to make him purees. Love that thing.

Right now, he gets a solid meal once a day, about 30 minutes to an hour after his 4 o'clock feeding, so it's straight from the high chair to the bath.  

I think it goes without saying, he doesn't miss any meals.

Sleeps: 

He's consistently taking three naps a day, sometimes four if he needs a late afternoon catnap thanks to an early wakeup time. He'll typically have one good nap a day that is around 1.5+ hours long. He's juuuust starting to consistently give me two hours of awake time between naps. He's able to go three or more hours between his last nap and bedtime for some reason. (Not that I don't try to get him to take one last nap.) 

His bedtime routine is much more relaxed than it was a few months ago. He gets his bath around 5:30pm when Will gets home from work and he gets cozy in his PJs and spends some time with dear old dad. Then around 6:30, I'll take him upstairs, draw the curtains, turn the sound machine on, feed him one last time, and walk around with him or rock him for a few minutes and he's out. Just like that.

I'm very back and forth about whether to night wean. Between 6:30pm-ish bedtime and 6:30-ish wakeup time, he'll typically wake up twice. On a good night, only once, on a bad night, three (or, like last night, he just doesn't go back to sleep for a loooong time after a feeding thanks to a 4am poop sesh). I always just feed him because he goes back to sleep easier, but I'm probably just creating a bad habit. Big Will has a work trip planned soon, and I'm toying with the idea of weaning/sleep training for the week that he's gone.  

That section was very boring and I apologize. Stay with me. I talk poop next. THE BEST PART.

Poops: 

Last month, I was all super shocked that he went a couple days without pooping. Well now, it's his regular! I was worried about cloth diapering and gross solid food poopys, but really when he's only pooping once every other day, it's a breeze. I'm only doing cloth diaper laundry once every two or three days now. He has to wear a disposable at night because he's a pretty heavy wetter, but it's really nice not to have to change him at all. 

Oh, and he officially needs privacy when he poops. It's fantastic. He will not poop while you're holding him anymore. He has to be in his walker, his Bumbo, his crib, or a stroller. It's hilarious when he's in his walker. He leans forward, grunts, and his forehead turns a little purple.  

Segue to more cute photos . . . 

Other Miscellaneous Milestones:

• He can use a restaurant high chair. 
• He grew out of his baby tub, so baths are in our normal bath tub. 
• He enjoys screeching at the top of his lungs, specifically in very echo-y cathedrals.
• He sits up unassisted (!!!!) . . .

     . . . though not perfectly, I'll admit.

     . . . we'll work on that whole posture thing somewhere down the line.

And it is with great sadness that I share the loss of our dear rat tail. 

Let's take a walk down memory lane . . . 

Snuck a peek at 2 months.

 
At 3 Months and 4 Months.

And hanging on for dear life at 5 Months.

We'll miss you, old friend.