Monday Funday

You know it's been a good morning when everyone ends up crying in their underwear.

+1 adult (not pictured).

I knew there would come a day when the seedy yellow stools hit the fan. Today was officially that day.

We were all dressed in clean clothes looking well groomed. There was a decided lack of cooperation by the underlings, but we were slowly inching toward the car, grocery list in hand! Ready to tackle that meal plan.

Zelie pooped and spit through her outfit and mine. Normal newborn stuff. Roll with those punches.

Will on the other hand JUST COULD NOT LIFE at all today. The back of his neck was itchy and it turned him into an inconsolable, angry beast. For example, I was sitting nursing (a hungry and very gassy) Zelie and he needed me to hold him and console him because he was trying to blow a fart on his arm and he COULDN'T DO IT. And WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ignores her child undergoing such torment?

His inner monologue:

Dearest Mother,

I see you are rather occupied nourishing your less-capable offspring.

However, have you noticed the debacle I am in? 

I require a fart noise.

I am unable to make said fart noise at this juncture. 

Please acknowledge my hysterics until I become occupied with something more important.

Ooooh, dog food.

I love sniffing dog food.

Byeeeee.

Yours Truly,

William Hugh (age: 1)

The fart noise problem. Just one example in a sea of options.

Every time I held Zelie (who oddly did not want to be set down all morning), he would say "TOO?!" meaning he wanted me to pick him up, TOO. Get it? Yeah, it takes me A REALLY LONG time to figure out what he means when he says things. So I cooked lunch with Zelie in the Moby and holding Will on my hip (or clawing at my legs when my arm needed a break). 

At least I was burning calories because you bet I was stress-eating tater tots by noon. 

Cue the mom guilt. I truly did want to help him because I read [the first half of] this book, which basically says you are raising a narcissist if you don't connect with your child when they are throwing a tantrum. My e-book loan expired before I could reach the second half of the book, so I basically don't know what to do after that. Something about redirection. Surely he will turn out okay, even if my attention and my hands are divided. If not, there's always boarding school.

Aaaanyway. 

I hope your Monday is going a little better. Toddlers able to make fart noises when required, babies pooping mainly in their diapers and spitting up in areas that don't involve pools of liquid in the center of your bra? All the normal stuff. 

Days Like Today

Sometimes life hands you a tub full of turds.

Today was one of those days.

Literally.

And, alas, we Snapchat it to all our (9, I think I have about 9) friends, thus that we may laugh to keep from crying!

Or something.

I'm tired.

This was just after he climbed into the tub filling with water still donning his diaper. I digress.

… 

I discovered yesterday that Little Will has an ear infection on top of all the cold/cough crud. He'd been rubbing his left ear for a few days and then yesterday I really noticed the drainage. (This is his second ear infection since getting ear tubes in July. He hasn't even had his follow-up appointment yet, people!) 

Anyway, so that's some more joyful news. 

This morning, I spent hours on the phone with NetGear and Charter trying to get our Internet/Wifi situation sorted out. I was feeling pretty high and mighty after canceling cable - (WHO NEEDS CABLE ANYWAY? NOT ME SUCKAS) - and of course the Internet goes out and all Hell breaks loose. 

We have the scars to prove it: 

I mean WHATEVER IT TAKES. I can't have you being mesmerized by the blinky router lights and tapping at the laptop keyboard when I am on the phone with the nice Indian lady with customer service.

I still didn't get it working until about 20 minutes ago. I only used approx. 5 out of our 10 gigs of Verizon data in the meantime. (We FaceTime a LOT.)

The big highlight of our day was that Will had cupcakes delivered to our front door! Six of them! Two Oreos, one red velvet, a cookie dough, a pumpkin cheesecake, and a funfetti to be exact. I won't tell you which ones we had for dinner.

So all in all, it will be just fine! I just might keep bathing Will in a different tub until I get the gusto to do some bathroom disinfecting. 

7 Quickies

1// I'm 29 weeks today, so that's cool. 

I actually had an ultrasound a couple weeks ago because they didn't get a good enough look at Zelie's heart at her 20-week scan. Everything looked great. Head down. The tech even let us FaceTime Will in since we used the whole "he's away for military duty" thing, which was awesome. I love technology. 

My weight gain has slowed considerably since I started trying to eat healthier (I even lost a few pounds, which prompted a trip to Starbucks for a blueberry scone). I'm still only slightly behind how much I'd gained at 29 weeks with Boog, when we'd just moved to STL. Crazy. (I have heard before that time flies when you're having babies. It's true.)

2// The disruption in Little Will's routine by going to daycare is really messing with his sleep. (Or at least that's what I hope is all it is, which means that he'll be back to normal TOMORROW. Yes?) Ever since Tuesday he's been fighting bedtime at night and waking up over an hour earlier than usual. Obviously, this means he will snuggle in for some extra sleep in bed with me. Because toddlers love that. At least that's the lie I've told myself for four straight mornings.

Why does he insist on wedging himself between me and my precious body pillow? WHY?

This morning, after getting kicked in the face numerous times for about an hour, I had finally, somehow dozed off. I was awakened by the sound of Curious George. My little man had slithered out of bed, found the Amazon Fire Stick remote, and turned on cartoons. 

These are LIFE SKILLS, people. (You just push the center button of the remote twice to play what had been on previously, but still.) I got to lay in bed for a few more minutes while he stood there making monkey sounds at the television.

3// But honestly, he may be starting to develop a problem. It's like a flip switched and now ALL he wants is TV.

This TV takes a little more work to get to George. Sorry. Also, you're holding it upside down.

4// Just a small problem, right?

He asks for "choo-choo?!" (Thomas the Train) or "ooo-ooo-ahh-ahh?!" (Curious George) approx. 50 times a day, but I'll be grateful for it when baby #2 comes I'm sure. 

5// So we canceled cable and we're saving $80 a month. We hope that between Netflix, Amazon Prime streaming, and various apps, we can avoid paying for cable forevermore. (I've also heard Sling TV is a great option for streaming sports and such.) Any college football fans have tips for streaming games? 

6// My friend, Julia, wrote a post about welcoming baby #2 which sums up basically all my feelings on the subject. I mean, if I had time and mental energy to think about the subject ;) She is only a couple weeks ahead of me in her pregnancy, and she also has a son named Will and they are about the same age. Essentially we are the same person in all the important ways, so click on over. 

7// Will's boss called to check up on me yesterday because he's TDY. I'm pretty sure this phone call is in the commander's manual or something, because I remember getting a similar call when Will was away at JAG School (different boss). They just call and ask how things are going, if there's anything you need, etc. I always politely say I've got things under control, but next time I'm going to ask for someone to come over and pick up dog poop from our back yard. As a joke. Unless they say yes. THEY'D HAVE TO SAY YES, RIGHT?  

Have a great poop-free weekend, everyone. 

Linking up for the first time with Kelly since she started hosting!

19 Months

If you look at this picture closely, you can see a single tear coming from his left eye. He was literally CRYING to go "ow-sye" (outside). And then when he got out the door he saw our neighbor's dog and about bolted across the street to say "hiiiii, woof woof!" 

He requires constant vigilance.

Even though I haven't done a monthly update since he was 11 months (oops - small, single tear of my own), I thought, why not? He needs the attention. 

Stats: According to our home scale, he weighs in at 25 pounds. He is in 12-18m shorts, 18-2T shirts, and size 6 shoes. First set of molars are all in. Shock of blinding white blonde hair. 

MILESTONE: Will gave him his first haircut a couple months ago because the mullet was worse than it is even now.

EATS.

He is an EATER. He pretty much eats anything, but it MUST be at room temperature or below. Otherwise he shouts "HOT!" and screeches in agony and refuses to eat. We're routinely sticking his food in the freezer before eating. 

He wakes up in the morning asking for a banana ("nana") because he has priorities. Literally as soon as I pick him up out of his crib. He eats a banana every morning around 7:30 (plus whatever else is being served up - kid loves some pancakes), then lunch at 11:30, snack at 3, dinner between 5-6. Daycare taught him pretty decent table manners. If he's hungry, he will sit at the table and eat with a fork and can use an open cup. He'll still usually get pretty messy, so it just kind of depends whether we're in the mood for cleanup to allow him to eat on his own. 

SLEEPS.

Glory, glory, hallelujah! Okay, so . . . Will got ear tubes in July. (Four ear infections since his first birthday, constant fluid in his ears at every check, and mild hearing loss from the fluid.) Ever since, he is napping longer and sleeping in. It's been a dream come true. He goes down around 6:30pm every night and sleeps in past 7am every morning. Sometimes he wakes up, but he'll lay in bed happily and quietly for the most part until we go in and get him. (He used to NEVER do this — he would cry angrily upon waking — probably because his ears were hurting.) Sometimes when he's tired, he will take a pillow off the couch and proclaim "night night!" and lay down on it. 

He's down to one nap per day. He'll go down sometime between 11 and 12:30. He'll usually sleep about 2 hours, but sometimes he'll stretch it to 2.5 or 3. Currently, he's been in his crib since we returned from Mass just before noon. He rolled around, babbling "dada" and "night night" for over an hour, and just recently fell asleep. Whatever.  

Yup, he's a pretty dreamy sleeper lately. I am counting my blessings. And also deathly afraid of interfering with his sleep situation by tampering with his routine by way of introducing a toddler bed or anything of the sort. 

POOPS.

Dude. Duuuude. He still poops 4 times a day. Even the daycare teachers were like HOW?… WHY?… NOOOOO. He is in Size 4 disposables. I am thinking about putting him back in cloth, but I haven't decided yet because he still poops 4 times a day. Also, he had a really scary skin infection about a month ago (a strain of staph) and I am afraid that there is still bacteria cultured in his skin. (He has a few pimples here and there on his body, but nothing like the infection in his diaper area that required a lancing by the doctor and a round of heavy duty antibiotics.) BUT, he has been peeing through his diapers at night lately and I know his giant bamboo fitted diaper will hold it all in. 

Being a mom is so glamorous. 

HOBBIES.

// Proclaiming that objects are his by shouting "MINE! MINE! MINE!"

// Climbing and jumping off furniture.

// Waiving at Jesus and blowing him kisses.

// Brushing his teeth.

// Giving his dogs pats and kisses. 

// Playing hide and go seek in the Tupperware cabinet.

// Waiving and saying "HI!" to ANYONE and EVERYONE and EVERY OBJECT EVER.

// Airplanes ("ow-sye?" - yeah same word as "outside" - took us a while to figure that one out), trucks, tractors, and firetrucks. 

// Pushups, which he learned to do from his favorite person ever, his cousin Molly. 

// Fake chatting on the phone. 

// Pointing out your nose.

// Beating on mommy's belly. Because OHMYGOSHIT'SSOBIG.

It's so funny that his fundamental personality really hasn't changed since he was a baby. I recently re-read his TWO MONTH update where I speculated that he was an extrovert/busy-body/people person. 

Most accurate. 

Begrudgingly dragged to the car to head to Mass because he didn't want to leave the neighbor's dog.

This is What Happens

When you don't use your camera for six straight months. 

At first he's all, "Ooooo, what's dat?"

Then he's all, "MINE? MINE? MINE! MINE!!!!!!"

Then he's all, "So you're saying I can't stick my finger in the lens?" (Zelie photobomb as he essentially attempts to climb up my person to insert his finger in said camera lens.) 

Then there are real, actual wet tears. And yelling. So much yelling.

… That was fun. 

Blogging breaks are clearly bad for morale and discipline. Will attempt again later.